Mom Mom Mom

“Mom! Mom! Mom!” That one word is music to my ears, even though sometimes I say “WHAAAT?!” maybe a little to harsh when the word mom has been yelled or whined for the thousandth time in the day. But oh how I longed to be called that or any variation of that. Ma, Mama, Mommy, Mom, I’ve have the honor and privilege of being called all of those now. I’ve cherished each one too. There was a day I didn’t know if I’d ever be called any of those. I’m so thankful to hear voices calling me that, even on the hard days of parenting.

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This won’t be anything new for those of you who know me. I’ve shared this part of my life before. However I feel I need to write on it again. It’s ingrained in who I am, it’s part of what makes me who I am. I truly believe it’s part of God’s purpose for me. Every time I write or speak on this topic I get a lump in my throat and tears well in my eyes because it’s so deep in my heart. To be honest I may write about this in some way every year around this time, it’s that important to me. For those who have heard or read this before and for those who it will be your first time learning of this part of my story, know you are getting a glimpse at a part of my soul. A part of what made me who I am and a part that has driven me to writing and reaching others.

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Mother’s Day is fast approaching and it stirs my heart in ways only few can truly understand. I need to explain that I’ve always had a deep desire to be a mom. I was not just your average little girl playing with dolls, even then I knew I wanted to grow up and be a mom. I did grow up and married an amazing man who is so great with kids and wanted to have a family as much as I did. Our dreams and plans did not take the path we thought though. It was a few years after getting married we were told there was basically no chance of conceiving a child. Now, we have never ruled out a miracle by God, we believe all things are possible for Him, but medically speaking this is what we were told. The why isn’t important because I don’t want to limit who this reaches with the why we couldn’t conceive. There are millions of couples every day being told this same thing for different reasons and different diagnosis and this is for every couple, well really every woman, who finds herself in this spot for whatever reason, regardless of diagnosis. So here we are, a young couple wanting to start a family and being told it cannot happen. My heart hurt. I had wanted to be a mom for so long and the rug had just been pulled out from under me. Time went by and life got hard, messy, and ugly. There’s so much that happened in there, to much to share in a blog post. Someday I’ll cover those hard messy years but for now I’m skipping to the part about motherhood since Mother’s Day is really why I’m writing this. This is a post for everyone but I’m writing it to the heart of the women who long to be moms but for whatever reasons are not right now.

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So you there, the woman who is longing to be a mom and isn’t, for you whose heart is hurting. This is for you. This is for you to know I understand. I understand how hard it is to see the baby section at stores. I understand how unfair it feels seeing women who take their kids for granted and treat them unkind. I understand how mad you get hearing about the kids taken from deplorable conditions by children services. I understand how baby showers make you feel a mix of happiness for your friend or family and pain all at the same time. I understand Mother’s Day. I understand it all. Join me as I share a condensed version of my story, my journey to motherhood and some things I’ve learned along the way.

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There were years spent trying to have a baby, walking through infertility that I was right where you are. Your heart hurts and you cry in the store at little things like bibs with cute sayings. You cringe every time you are asked when you are going to start having kids. You smile and say congratulations with every friend who announces their pregnancy as your heart breaks a little more. Then there’s Mother’s Day. It was during this time that Mother’s Day was so hard. I dreaded gong to church on this Sunday. Usually they have all the mothers stand and as you sit your shoulders slump a little more under the weight of your heartache. If you make it through the service without crying, you file out the door without receiving the flower or small gift usually passed out to moms. You try to celebrate with your own mom as you know this day isn’t just about you and your heartache, but everywhere you are, you are surrounded by reminders that this day is not for you. It’s hard and I get it. In the middle of all this I clung to God and that was all I could do. There were Sundays I went crying to the alter and there were Sundays I ran out crying. There were days I asked God why and never felt an answer. It’s hard and it hurts. Even though it has been many years since I have experienced this hurt, I remember it vividly. My words will probably sting coming from someone who’s on the other side now but, know God will get you through this. He got me through those years just as he got me through the even harder years to come.

That’s right, harder years. You see after all those years and prayers I became a mom through the amazing process of adoption and celebrated my first Mother’s Day in 2003 with our then 7 month old son Brayden. That day was so special but a dark cloud hung over it….our son’s birth father filed with the court asking that Brayden’s adoption not be finalized. It was a year and a half of joys and heartaches as Brayden reached milestones and I flourished in my role as mommy but knowing each moment could be our last. Two months before what would have been my second Mother’s Day, when Brayden was 17 months old, our son was returned to his birth parents. Needless to say that Mother’s Day was awful, as was the next year when my heart and arms still ached for my lost son….and once again I was not a mother. The heartache I felt was more immense that any I had ever felt. What I had longed for and received was ripped from my heart and arms. Those were very dark days and this is where God carried me because I could not walk this part. My heart was weary, my burden was heavy, and God took my pain upon himself and carried me throughout this time. This part of my journey is a long story all on its own and for another time but, know that God works even in the midst of our heartache and pain. It was here I learned to lean on God and hear Him speak like never before.

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It was almost a year and a half later after loosing Brayden, in July 2005 I stood in the hospital room at the bedside of a pregnant woman about to deliver as the doctor asked her who is holding the baby first. She told the doctor, “She is, she’s his mom” and pointed to me. This woman wanted more for her son than she could give and in selfless love came to us and asked us to adopt her baby, she choose us to be his parents….me to be his mommy. This time there was no fight, this time he was ours. God used Wyatt to bring healing to my heart. Wyatt did not replace Brayden, no child can ever replace one who has been lost, but he brought joy back to everyday. His laid back, easy going, soft hearted personality was just what God knew we needed. Once again I was a mom and even in this God was with me but because he carried me through the worst days that I made it to the good. It gets better, about a year and a half after Wyatt was born, once again another woman out of selfless love made an adoption plan and choose us to parent the baby she was carrying. This time we were blessed with a little girl. Where Wyatt is laid back and easy going, Selah brought spunk and spirit to our life. I have stick straight hair and prayed for a long time for a little girl with curly hair. Well I can say God answered that one in a mighty way. My baby girl has some serious curls! The joy I have in being mom to these 2 is immeasurable. My heart over flows with love and gratitude to God and these women and my heart and arms over flow with 2 amazing kids. There is not a day that doesn’t go by that I don’t think of these 2 women and marvel at the love they choose. The love that placed what was best for their child above the heartache they would have knowing their child calls someone else mom. That my joy was born out of another woman’s heartache.

You may think that this is a nice story with a happy ending and now I’m just traveling life’s journey down the road of motherhood trying to do my best to follow God and love my husband and kids and yes I am trying to do that, but it’s not the end. In the fall of 2008, just before the one year anniversary of our daughter’s adoption finalization, when she was a year and half old, 12 days before the cutoff to file, her birth father filed asking the court to over turn her adoption. We spent the next 15 months working to keep our daughter. Obviously this time the ending was different and we still have our daughter but once again I had to lean on God like never before to get me through that time.

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Now here’s where I am today. I’m an imperfect person, an imperfect mom walking this path called motherhood in this journey called life with God leading me. I mess up, I “stumble” and God catches me. He picks me up, dust me off and tells me, “I got this, I have you. I got you through the hardest darkest parts of your life and I can get you through this too.” There are days I blow it and have to apologize for my kids for things I have said or done and that’s ok. And no matter how much I longed to be a mom, there are days I just don’t get it right and God gets me through that too. Occasionally there are days I feel like I do get it right but mostly I’m just trying my best to love my kids and make sure they know they are wanted and loved and they are my blessings. I love being a mom, even on the hard days. Let me tell you, parenting is oh so much harder than I ever thought it would be. Someday I’ll write just on that, the midst of motherhood. But I’m thankful for it all and what I’ve learned through each day.

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My journey to motherhood has not been an easy one in the least. It has been a road that has been hard, where sometimes there was not a road, or even a path, but a wilderness to fight through and forge a way through. I cannot take credit for making it through, it has been traveled with God leading me, sometimes carrying me when I couldn’t go anymore and my best friend, my husband, beside me. I honestly could not have made it without God and my husband. My road to motherhood has been filled with infertility, failed adoptions, finalized adoptions, challenged adoptions, and I’m sure much more to come since I am still traveling through motherhood in the journey of life. I do know I am so blessed with a beautiful life and 2 kids who I love more than life, yet there are still scars left from the heartaches of past and a humbled heart as I know there are 2 women who have a piece of their heart gone because the children they gave birth to call me mom. I often think about our children’s birth moms and the selfless choice they made. I think about the women who hearts ache from the loss of their child rather through miscarriage, failed adoptions, death, placing their child for adoption, a prodigal child or a number of other reasons. I also think a lot about the women who have a hard time getting up on Mother’s Day, let alone going to church and walking out a little more hurt and scarred. I speak directly to you, the ones whose hearts ache and arms are empty…..God will get you through this. I don’t know how because each person’s journey is different and I don’t know the plans He has for you but I know He will get you through. He will carry you when you just can’t go any anymore if you’ll trust Him to do it. God does not define you by rather you’re a mom or not, or by if you mess up in motherhood or not. You are His daughter and he revels in your beauty as the woman He created you to be. Sometimes we have to struggle to realize He is all we need. When we are left lost and broken it is then that we see He is our all and it is through Him that we have life and can live life. This is something I’ve learned not just from my path to motherhood but from the journey of my life. It is through Christ’s grace that I am here today, free from the heartaches that once plagued me and not just as mom but as God’s daughter. My journey’s not over and I look forward to wherever this journey leads me, knowing that God will be right there with me, just like He always has been.

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Detours

It’s been awhile but I’m still here. I wish I could say I’ve been working on this amazing blog post and here it is. However that would be a lie. I did start an amazing blog post, one that hits to the heart of matters, but I have yet to finish it. It’s  just been sitting untouched for 2 months now, I’m not giving up on it though. I also have all these ideas for topics that pop into my head pretty much everyday but I have yet to write any of them.
I’ve been stopped by a few things, detours if you’d like to call them that. Life in general with work(I watch a 3 month old and a 1&1/2 year old) and 2 active school age kids is busy and I’m tired….but we all are. I could put laundry off a little, I need to prioritize, I could better manage my time, there’s a lot I could do to “make” time. I’ve come to realize though, two things have been the major factors stopping me from writing, from doing what God has called me to do. Myself and Satan.
As for stopping myself, it comes back to self doubt and faith. Even after the post about having faith to open the door and walk through, I’m still scared. I still second guess my writing. I still struggle with what if I’m not good enough(grammar and spelling are not my strong point and both are important factors in writing). What if no one thinks I should be writing. The list of ways I doubt myself and my abilities go on and on. I have let doubt deter me from writing when I have a small slot of time. I realized recently I have to remind myself of the same thing I tell my daughter when she’s struggling with an upcoming test, school project or even with her dancing(which she amazing at!). God has a purpose and a plan for you and He has equipped you to do what He has called you to do, you just have to try your best and let God do the rest. I also remind her she is work in progress and she just has to keep trying and trust that God will help her along the way if she seeks Him. I have to say, it’s a lot easier to tell her that than myself! I’m working on believing my own reminders though. Here’s a few scriptures I use to back this up and remind myself.
Philippians 1:6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ
2 Corinthians 9:8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things, at all times, you may abound in every good work
Hebrews 13:21 (He will) equip you with every good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.
Psalm 138:8 The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.
Now as for Satan. Want a sure fire way to make sure you’re on Satan’s radar….make a public declaration(blog post, Facebook announcement, tell your small group) that God has called you to do something AND you’re going to do it! Hello spiritual attack! It was nothing major happening but yet it’s been a dozen little things to try and stop me(and sadly I have let it but not anymore!). It was things like sickness being passed around our house Satan used. We’re a rather healthy family but for weeks in March both my kids and myself were sick. Wyatt got some virus and I caught that. Then a week later Selah starts getting sick and I figured she had the same thing Wyatt and I had just got over however, she complained of different symptoms. Long story short it wasn’t the same virus and I caught that one too. Satan got me out of my morning reading of the Bible with 3 weeks of sickness and that just makes you an easy target for him! Throw in the hubby being gone out of town on business when all this is happening, a very busy 1&1/2 year old I care for and you’ve got a recipe for an over exhausted spiritually attacked me! There were school struggles thrown in there, and a lot of everyday little things he used to attack me. Honestly even the doubting myself and my abilities falls under being attacked because Satan is the king of lies and deception, telling us we’re not good enough and can’t do something to discourage us from doing what we’re called to do. He didn’t attack with anything major. He was sneaky like that. If he had used something major he knew it would have instantly brought me to my knees before the thrown of God. With a virus here, a virus there, a little school struggles, a little work struggle thrown in, add some doubt, a dozen miscellaneous everyday problems, a little this and a little that, its a back door under the radar spiritual attack. Satan kept me so distracted with all the little stuff that I wasn’t spending quality time with God. Yes I prayed everyday, read a devotion with the kids most mornings but I was not spending time in God’s Word, seeking Him, sitting quietly with him, spending deep time in prayer with Him. Without this time with God I didn’t have the energy or inspiration to follow through on what God has called me to do. Satan was distracting me from what God has called me to do! I hadn’t realized all this was happening either. Ironically God used one of the things Satan meant for an attack to bring my attention back to where it needed to be. With the school struggles I mentioned earlier we had an IEP meeting coming up that I was stressed about. I decided a fast was in need before heading into this meeting as in previous years things had not always gone well and I needed God’s peace and presence before hand and during the meeting. Our meeting was the Friday after Easter so for 3 days before that I fasted and prayed. It was during this time that God opened my eyes to the spiritual attack I was under. I knew I was letting everyday things distract me from God but I hadn’t realized how much of it was an attack from Satan. I hadn’t felt the attack but during these 3 days I became keenly aware of not only the attack but, how I let my guard down. God reminded me that our battle is not against flesh and blood but of spiritual forces of evil and that I was not taking up His armor as He had instructed us to do. God showed me how I was trying to fight these everyday struggles at face value and not for what they really were, spiritual attacks from the enemy. I went back to one of my favorite parts of the Bible to help me.
Ephesians 6:10-18 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints
It’s not easy, it never will be when we’re following God. He doesn’t promise it will be easy, in fact He says just the opposite that we will have trouble(John 16:33). He also tells us in that same verse though to take heart because He has overcome the world. This morning God has overcome the worldly fast paced clock that demands our schedule and given me a quiet uninterrupted time to write this post. With that I’m reminded it is not just Satan who can use use the little things. For God it’s not always the big things, sometimes it’s the little things He uses too. He loves us not just with the big moments but with the everyday little moments he gives us. Maybe you like me, needed to be reminded that there is a spiritual war fare happening everyday and our everyday battles are not really against the flesh but against the spiritual realms. I pray God grants you the wisdom to see where you are being attacked and you find encouragement and determination for whatever it is God is calling you to do today, rather its big or little.  And a small request if you’re reading this, pray for me as I continue down this path God has called me to, obviously the devil doesn’t like it!

Why Green August?

Green August…strange name for a blog is a common reaction. No one has said those exact words, they don’t have to, their face says it. I don’t blame them, I understand their reaction. Then you have the people who know my last name is Green and assume that’s where I got the Green but can’t figure out the August. A simple answer would be my last name is Green, we got married in August and I like the way they sound together. That would be just the beginning though, there’s so much more behind Green August than that simple answer.

There are 3 reasons I choose the name Green August.

1. The first is the straight forward and simple answer. We were married in August. A new beginning, new life with a new last name, Green.

2. The next has a little more meaning behind it. A year and a half ago, in August, our family of 4 were all baptized together. Another new beginning, new life in Christ.

3. The final reason is a little deeper, a little thought provoking. We live on the edge of northwest Ohio, where it meets with midwest Ohio. If you’re from here or have been here in August then you know, there is not much green left on the ground. Green in August is not something usually seen here. Summer is starting to end, the dry heat has or is sucking the life from the plants, grass, and fields. There is not much green but there is a lot of brown. The crops are starting to dry up for harvest and unless you water your yard, it’s beginning to turn brown also.  What appears to be dead really isn’t though. With the drying crops, they are harvested and become something that gives back life as seeds for more crops, food for animals, or food for us. With the grass, given time, water, and cooler temperatures it turns green again. Given a little work and time things come back to life, are given new life or turn green again. Life comes back to what appeared to be dead. I have had similar dry spells in in my life, where it seems as if everything is turning brown, drying up, dying. I’ve learned with a little time and most importantly, with faith and trust in God, life is brought back. Things turn green again. Where death seemed eminent, Jesus Christ won and there is eternal life, new life.

At various times over my almost 40 years of life things have appeared to be what August in Ohio is, dry, brown, and dying.  My life, my marriage, my hope to be a mom, they have all seemed to be dead or on the verge of death at certain  junctures. Some of that is my own doing, I made choices that like the summer heat, caused the damage that was causing the death. Other times, just like in nature, things happen that we have no control over that bring about damage that again causes life to drain away, to begin dying.  Like the crops, grass, and plants that are turning dry and brown though, each area that appeared to be dead or dying for me was given new life and that life was given by the one and only Savior, Jesus Christ.

Without salvation through Jesus Christ my life is over, I am dead. Not physically but spiritually. I was heading down a path in life that was leading to a dead end. There was nothing but dry, brown lifeless days ahead of me until I learned what true repentance and salvation through Jesus was. Through him I have ever lasting life.  John 11:25 (NIV) Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die

The same is true of my marriage and dreams of motherhood. Both looked to be dead and we’re given new life through God. What was brown and lifeless, became green and given new life.

So, now you know the simple reason, the meaningful reason, and the deeper thought provoking reason behind the name Green August.

In life we all face times where we feel like the end has come. We feel there is death of some sort that has happened or is happening. Whatever you’re facing today, no matter how bad the situation looks, there is still life there waiting for you. Just like those summer August days seems to be brown and lifeless but we know there is hope of greenness and life that comes back. There is hope and life for you and your situation. That hope and life is found in God’s son Jesus. He died and rose again to life that you should never die but have eternal life. John 3:16 (ESV) For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

I found new life in Jesus, he gave me a Green August.

52 of You

I like photography. I like to take photos but, I wouldn’t call myself a photographer, more a hobbyist. I did photography for awhile as a business and someday I may again. For now it is something I love to do for myself. Another outlet for my creativity.

I see photographers and other hobbyist doing 365 projects, a photo a day for an entire year, and they fascinate me. However, I’m realistic with myself and the probability of me not completing a 365 project. More than likely with the crazy awesome life I live with 2 kids in school, basketball, piano, dance, etc, I’d remember I didn’t take a photo for the day as I crawled exhausted into bed. That thought doesn’t entice me into trying a 365 project. I also want to photograph something with meaning, not some random item or moment from my day or from a prompt list a photography website has posted.

The desire is there though. The desire to pick up my camera more. The desire to photograph with purpose and direction. To photograph a subject with meaning. To see growth through the photos themselves.

That desire along with the love for my children and seeing how fast they’re growing and changing has led me to my own photography project for the year. My kids are 9(almost 10) and 11. They’re on the edge of where being a little kid is slipping away and the tween years are beginning. I want to capture through photographs this time, to see the change and growth in a year and to savor each moment. My way of doing this is going to be by taking a photograph a week of each of them. I explained it to them and said “there will be 52 of you”, hence the title of this and the title for my project. I’m sure this isn’t unique, I’m sure it’s been done before. I’m excited though. To see the growth of not only my kids but, also my photography over the year. I’m sure there will be Saturday nights where they’re getting ready for bed and I realize I don’t have their photo for the week but that’s ok. I’ll photograph them as they brush their teeth, snuggle under the covers, say their prayers, or kiss me goodnight. Those too are the fleeting moments I don’t want to forget and those are the moments that are part of our life right now.  I’ll try to share the photos as I go but I know some weeks will be busy and I won’t get to edit and post them. Some weeks I’ll catch you up with multiple weeks’ photos at once. I plan and hope to use my DSLR camera for all of these but I’m not forbidding myself the use of my iPhone if I need to.

With that, let me introduce you to my kids with photos from week 1’s 52 of You.

Wyatt is our oldest. He’s our sweet tender hearted boy. Thankfully he will still cuddle up on the couch with me and kiss me goodnight. He’s smart, things come easy to him. He loves music and has natural musical talents and abilities. He plays piano and trumpet and wants to learn guitar and drums. He loves God and knows God has called him for a purpose(I don’t feel it’s my place to share what that purpose is because it’s his). He is God’s little warrior and God used him to bring healing to this mama’s heart.

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Selah is our youngest. She’s a little bit of grit and grace. She’s a beautiful perfect storm. She’s a little all over the place but loves fiercely. She was the answer to many prayers and now is the subject of many prayers. As she says, dance is her thing.  I see her loose and find herself all at the same time with dance. She has a fire in her that is going to set this world ablaze. Her name means to pause and to reflect, she causes me to to do just that frequently.

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You’ve just been introduced to 2 big pieces of my heart. I really can’t believe these kids I prayed so long and hard for are already this big. Time is moving a little too fast. I hope to slow it down a little with this photography project.

I’m looking forward to seeing all 52 photos of them when the year is over. To see how they’ve changed, not just in looks but in who they are.  I plan to make a photo book for each of them with the photos from every week. Who knows, maybe this will be the start of something I take on every year with them. As with my writing I’m starting, I’m excited to see where this too leads me.

 

A Door Waiting to Be Opened

In my first post, Brave Enough to Walk Through the Door, I wrote how I asked myself some questions about God calling me to write. One of those was, what if I don’t have anything to write….insert a comment here from my husband about me never being short on words, lol. I’ll admit that’s pretty true though. I like words, I like to talk.  So I’m excited that right now I’m bursting with ideas for blog post.

If you’re following me on this journey you’re waiting to hear on two subjects I mentioned in that first post, why I choose Green August as a name and 52 of You. I’ll get to both, I promise, but first I feel I need to expand on being brave enough to walk through the door. I consider this a part two, a follow up of sorts to my first post.

It’s taken me awhile, truthfully a little to long, to walk through the door and I’ve learned some things along the way. In that time I did a lot of praying, asking God what am I supposed to do with my life. Asking what is my calling, what gifts has He given me and how or what do I do with them. Some things were easy and clear. First I’m a wife, second I’m a mom.  I love being a wife and a mom, it’s my most important job on this earth but, I felt there was more He wanted me to do and I was asking God to show me, to open the door for me.

Thing was He was showing me the door but He needed me to move, to take action. Our pastor frequently says if you’re feeling distant from God he didn’t move, you did.  God is always with us and many times when we feel He’s distant it’s because we’ve stepped back. We’ve spent less time in His Word, in prayer, in worship, etc. I wasn’t feeling distant, I hadn’t taken any steps back but I wasn’t moving forward either. We have to continually grow in our relationship with God, to move forward. After months of praying I knew what God was asking me to do. To be truthful though, as I wrote in that first post, I’ve known for awhile…but I wanted the door opened for me. God showed me the door, He unlocked it for me but I had to be brave enough to open it and be brave enough to walk through it. The Bible talks about faith without action, or works, well I had the faith but I wasn’t acting on it.

For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also is faith apart from works is dead.             James 2:26(ESV)

For months I had been praying, asking, searching for the what, the where, the how. I was wanted a clear answer from God. He wanted to me to take a step of faith. He wanted me to move, to act in faith, trusting He would be there when I did. Even though it was intimidating, I had to to take a step. That step required me not to walk through an already open door but to open the closed door AND take a step through.  Can I just say it’s easier to walk through an open inviting door than it is to open a closed door and take a step into the unknown. That door can look pretty scary.  It can look uninviting and hard to open, but have faith that sometimes the best things are hidden behind the least likely door.

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So let me ask you the question I asked myself, what if God is waiting for you to move? What if He’s showing you the door is there, it’s unlocked, but you have to move, to act, to do the work. You have to be brave enough not just to walk through it but, to open it and take a step through. What is the opportunity waiting for you, what does God have for you that He needs you to act in faith on? If God shows you the door, no matter how scary it is, take a step of faith, open the door and walk through. It’s amazing what is on the other side.

 

Brave Enough to Walk Through the Door

We’ve all heard the saying, “when God shuts a door, He opens a window.” What if God opens the door though? Are you brave enough to walk through the door?

That’s where I’m at….I need to walk through the door.

I’ve felt the call to write for so long but always make excuses.  Many times others have told me, “you should write.” I just smile and say, “thank you” but never act on it. I can’t do that anymore, I have to be brave enough to walk through the door God has opened.

So here I am taking the first step through the door by writing a blog.  Scary. Intimidating. Daunting.  Just a few words that describe this step. I’ve asked myself so many questions about doing this. Where do I start? How do I start? What if I don’t know what to write? What if my grammar is horrible? What if no one reads what I write? The most haunting question though….what if I fail?

Aren’t I failing though if I don’t do anything at all?

So here I am,  trusting Him to equip me for what He has called me to do, to write. With a new journal from my Husband for encouragement to write and a new blog to fill with post I’m walking through the door He has opened.

This is a short and sweet post, a kind of get my feet wet post. I hope you’ll come back to read more. To learn the meaning behind calling my blog Green August(I’ll give you a hint, there’s more than one reason why). To read about my personal project for the year, “Fifty-two of You”.  To see where I go with writing.

I’m excited to see where God leads me and how He equips me now that I’ve been brave enough to walk through the door.

equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever.  Amen. Hebrews 13:21(ESV)